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Inoculate your marriage from infidelity

March 28, 2012 8:15:10 PM PDT
Infidelity can be devastating to any marriage, so Eyewitness News brings you tips on how to avoid it in your marriage.

A walk and a kiss in Central Park, or riding in a horse drawn carriage. It's just sweet, simple romance.

"We come into the world wired to love," said Dr. Fran Cohen Praver, Psychologist.

But when those wires get crossed many couples go to psychologist Fran Cohen Praver to get back on track. She writes about relationship therapy in her book, "The New Science of Love".

"When we're in love, the brain triggers these wonderful love inducing chemicals. We have these relationship killers, all of that goes awry and and the man or the woman is going to go out and find somebody else," Dr. Praver said.

"She did forgive me, just one time," said Jeffrey Silva, a tourist from Texas.

Jeffrey Silva has been married 16 years now.

"I do regret it very much and I won't ever do that again to my wife," Silva said.

Both men and women cheat, but Dr. Praver says a lot of the time it's not about sex at all.

Dr. Praver says these are the top relationship killers: lack of empathy, poor communication, trying to change your spouse, and a big one is playing the blame game.

"At the end of the day getting along is what matters, not blaming each other," Dr. Praver said.

"I'll be married 36 years on the 24th of April this year," said Lyndis Swinden, a British tourist.

The Swindens have three faithful decades under their belt.

"He's my best friend, and that's why it works," Swinden said.

Dr. Praver agrees. In order to inoculate your marriage from infidelity, don't sweat the small stuff, don't try to change partner, and always listen to your partner and be empathetic.

"If you have empathy, that's a great inoculation. By empathy, I'm talking about getting into the shoes of your partner," Dr. Praver said.

"So you're saying you'd never forgive infidelity," Eyewitness News asked.

"No I couldn't. That's the one thing I could never ever turn my back on," Swinden said.

Eyewitness News asked Lyndis's husband Chris if he had anything to add. He was speechless.

The secret to a great marriage sometimes can be to keep quiet.


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